LET'S START WITH DESSERT

Nutella Crêpe Cake

Biscuits with Summer Berries and Whipped Cream

Pea and Bacon Panzanella with Warm VinaigrettePasta with Summer Corn, Slow-Cooked Tomatoes, and Garlic Confit

I've been saving my stories for the book that I'm writing. Most of them, at least. A few have slipped their way over to Food52 (see above).  I've posted one of my early summer favorites below.

Once my manuscript is turned in, I'll be back here with lots to say. Just keep chanting you can do it, you can do it, Phyllis, you can fucking do it.

Thanks. It helps. A lot.

xoxo

P.S. You can find me posting excessively over on Instagram. And sometimes I have a few things to rant about on Twitter or Facebook.

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After a weekend away and some heavy-duty denial about the fact that it’s officially June, I wake up early Monday morning to find the rest of my life sitting on my chest. This unfamiliar weight scares me. 

I make my coffee, paw around in the freezer, pray that there is something I can MacGyver into two school lunches. Frozen peas land on my jet-lagged son's head. Lamb bones fall onto my bare toes. And before I can stop it, an avalanche of unlabeled freeze-burned Ziplocked scraps slides down to the floor.  

I shove it all back into the freezer, heave my body weight against the door, and lock the chaos back in. 

And things don’t improve. 

It is the kind of morning where my son cries because his daddy will miss his Ninjago-themed sleepover birthday party. It is the kind of morning where I drop my husband off at the airport, lean in for a long deep kiss, and say goodbye for the entire summer. My heart aches so much that it is hard to turn my head over my shoulder to change lanes. I find myself driving down the freeway singing along and sobbing away to John Cougar Mellencamp. 

It’s only 11 AM. 

Bird by bird. 

I open the freezer. I face my future. 

Ten years ago, if you were scrounging around in my freezer for a stick of butter, you would have run into a placenta, a dozen bags of breast milk, some very stale pot, and lots of New York Super Fudge Chunk. Period. 

Now you’ll find enough tortillas to open a Mexican restaurant, fancy-ass square ice cubes (small, medium, large), lardo, bacon, bacon, bacon, two uncooked short ribs from this year’s Super Bowl party, fresh horseradish, a smorgasbord of pastries, pesto, egg whites, my neighbor’s homemade lemon curd, mini pissaladières, brown butter cupcake brownies, chocolate chip cookies, pulled pork, garlic confit, slow-cooked tomatoes, soup, pizza, pizza, pizza. And that, my friends, is just the beginning.  

Starting with the short ribs, I begin cooking the next six meals that will go into my kids’ bellies. I sear off the frozen meat in bacon fat, toss in some onions, garlic, and anchovies. I deglaze with wine while the meat is still in the pan. I break all of the rules. And then I add some gooey balsamic and a large frozen block of diced tomatoes. 

I throw the mess into the oven and forget about it until the smell brings me back.

I lift the lid. I shred the meat. I pick out the fatty bits. My heart rate slows down.

Braised Short Rib Tacos

I'VE GOT THE FAMILY MEAL THING DOWN

(for my Bella)

Day 14 of winter break and my husband is in Bella's room knee-deep in pressed board and IKEA instruction manuals and Dash is so mad that I won't let him eat the first batch of crispy bacon that he is hiding under my bed with the dog and it turns out that as of the first of the year eggs in any form make Bella want to barf so I find myself staring at this layered salad wondering why the fuck I even bother when Bella starts digging through the dressed romaine with her fingers and I sputter out Bella what huh what are you kidding me um are you an animal and my tone is so awful and she looks so sad that she ended up with me as her mother that we find ourselves in a hands-on-hips standoff until poof her face opens up into a big smile and before I can yank her in for a hug she grabs some bacon and run run run slides into my bedroom to lure Dash and the dog out from under the bed and then she's yelling out daddy do you want some of mommy's salad because it's really good and I'll bring you some and then miraculously we are all eating at the same time with Dash commando crawling toward the kitchen holding a fistful of bacon and my husband allen-wrenching and nibbling on my five-minute eggs and Bella hovering with me utensil-free over the salad bowl tearing dipping slurping and when Dash finally arrives at the table we start talking about the events of the day like the arrival of Dash's new big boy bed and Bella's genius addition of Best Foods Mayonnaise to the Caesar dressing and the 1,254-piece Lego Millennium Falcon we just finished assembling and then Dash clears his throat and splays his hands with just-so-you-know emphasis and comes out with really mama you're so good at building things and there's a great Lego college in Los Angeles and you should go there you really should and for the first time since my daughter was born 10 years ago I don't want my babies to grow up.

ROMAINE SALAD WITH BACON, 5-MINUTE EGGS, AND CREAMY GARLIC ANCHOVY DRESSING 

printable recipe

You can do the 5-minute eggs a few days ahead of time and store them in the fridge. Bacon can also be done way ahead of time because it should be room temperature for the salad. The dressing also keeps for a few days in the fridge.

ingredients:

6  5-minute eggs (see below for recipe), peeled and halved

10 slices bacon

6 cloves garlic, peeled and whole (to be cooked in oil)

1 cup olive oil

2 cloves garlic, peeled and grated (kept raw)

5 anchovy fillets, packed in oil

1/2 teaspoon Colman's mustard powder

splash Worcestershire sauce

4 tablespoons champagne vinegar (or sherry wine vinegar)

1 tablespoon heavy cream

1 tablespoon mayonnaise (Best Foods, Hellman's, or homemade)

a large head of romaine, cleaned (perhaps stripped of any wilted outer pieces)

crunchy salt

lots of chopped parsley for garnish

directions:

Cook bacon on stovetop or under broiler until nice and crisp. Place cooked slices on paper towel to drain off excess fat until you're ready to assemble the salad.

Place garlic and olive oil in a pot on the back burner. Bring to the boil and immediately turn down to a simmer. Cook until garlic is tender (check with a paring knife; it takes about 15 minutes). Remove from heat and cool for about 15 minutes.

Scoop garlic out of oil and place in a mortar (or a regular bowl). Reserve oil for the dressing. With a pestle (or with the back of a spoon), mash the cooked garlic, grated raw garlic, anchovies, and mustard powder into a paste. Whisk in worcestershire sauce, vinegar, heavy cream, and mayonnaise. Whisking the whole time, slowly drizzle in 4 tablespoons of reserved garlic oil (it's okay for it to still be a little warm). Taste. Adjust. You will probably need to add more oil. But if you like it super tangy you can add more vinegar or worcestershire sauce.

You can leave the romaine leaves whole. Or tear them up. Or cut them into bite-sized pieces. They look more awesome when they're whole but it's a pain in the ass to dress them and eat them (you might need your fingers). Most of the time I cut them up. 

Dress your greens with several spoonfuls of dressing. Add salt to taste. Toss with your hands. Taste. Add more dressing or salt if needed. Top with 5-minute eggs, bacon, and parsley. Sprinkle crunchy salt and a few drops of dressing on the yolks of the eggs. Eat right away. Serve with the remaining dressing in a pitcher.

5-MINUTE EGGS

printable recipe

6 eggs

Place eggs in a medium-sized pot that has a tight fitting lid. Cover eggs completely with cold water. Without the lid, bring water to the boil. Immediately turn off the heat. Cover with lid. Set timer right away for 5 minutes. Place a few handfuls of ice cubes in a bowl and cover with water. When timer goes off, carefully scoop out the eggs and place them into the ice bath. Leave them in the cold water for about 10 minutes. You can leave them out all day until ready to peel. Or store them in the fridge for a few days.

FIVE DAYS INTO ONE

3 a.m.

Dash is horizontal in my bed, dreaming, his feet walking up my face.

And I am brain-churning, teeth-grinding, eyes-wide-open awake.

I press Dash's toes to my lips and imagine, one by one, losing everyone that I love. A car crash, a murder, several kidnappings.

I shake my head from side to side to expel the tragedy fantasies and slide into a more typical middle-of-the-night worry list.

Did I place the battery back into the smoke detector? What's causing the dead animal smell in the attic? Warm cabbage salad with almonds, anchovy vinaigrette, and navel orange? Or bacon and pine nuts? Why did I have that third glass of wine? Did I lock the front door? Who the fuck am I?

6:45 a.m.

Bella hovers. Sighs. Stomps. Shakes my shoulders. Pulls back the comforter. She shrieks, "We're going to be late for school and I hate being late."

"Bella. Please. CHILL. Just five more minutes."

Dash yells from the kitchen, "Mama, don't be mean to Bella. I love her."

Crash. Breaking glass.

Now I'm up.

Bella watches as I pull on yesterday's jeggings, white t-shirt, grey cardigan, and boots.

"Mama. You wore that yesterday. And your pants are so tight."

Dash enters the bedroom. "Mama. Why are you wearing your bathrobe?"

"Dash. This is a sweater. Can't you see that?"

"You need your coffee. It makes you stronger and nicer."

Bella yanks my t-shirt down to cover my belly and then takes a brush to my hair. "You would look so pretty with your hair in a high ponytail."

"I don't like to feel like a cheerleader."

Two sips of coffee.

And I fly.

Zit covered. Dog walked. Sharing toy found. Pork thrown into slow cooker. Field trip waiver signed. Six and seven "times tables" practiced.

8 a.m.

No time to sweep up the broken glass. Milk is left out. Compost never makes it to the curb. Teeth aren't brushed.

We speed to school, avoiding small children and dogs, blasting music, chewing mint gum.

"Daddy comes home Saturday."

Smiles.

"Dash. Bella. I'm so sick of Adele."

"Me too," says Dash. "I prefer Mozart. And Handel is nice too."

Bella looks disgusted and pushes her face further into her book.

"What? Dash? HANDEL? Where did you come from?

"From you, mama. I came out from behind your legs."

Bella would jump out of the car if we weren't moving so fast.

"Okay, lovelies. What's for dinner tonight?"

We decide on spaghetti carbonara with bacon (for Bella), Marcona almonds (for Dash), parsley, garlic, thick balsamic (for me), and three different cheeses.

6:45 p.m.

Broken glass swept up. Maya Angelou poem recited. French dictation practiced. Anchovies pestled. Nuts bashed. Garlic and shallots softened. Wine poured. Pitcher of pasta water reserved. Parsley chopped. Dog tranquilized. Another glass broken.

Pasta tossed, topped, drizzled.

Eat. Clean. Read. Snuggle. One kid down. Threaten to take away all playdates and sleepovers for the next year. Another kid down. 

10 p.m. 

Pour third glass of wine. Write. Fall asleep in bath. Drag ass to bed. Wish for my husband's hand, to encompass the crown of my head, to gently press me into sleep. 

Repeat.

MARCONA ALMOND CARBONARA
printable recipe

Serves 3

This is a very forgiving recipe. Play. Cream or no cream. Or half and half. Or chicken stock. Skip the egg. Replace parsley with chives. Skip bacon. Use any hard cheese. Whatever.

ingredients:

6 slices bacon

1 tablespoon olive oil

2 shallots, peeled and finely diced

1 clove garlic, peeled and chopped or microplaned

1 tablespoon sherry wine vinegar
4 anchovy fillets
1/2 cup Marcona almonds
1 egg

juice/zest from 1/2 lemon

1/2 cup chopped flat parsley

1/2 cup heavy cream
1.5 cups grated cheese (any combination of parmesan, pecorino, romano, piave)

salt

pepper

salt for pasta water

1 pound dry pasta
for toppings: olive oil, balsamic (thick if you have it), salt, pepper, chopped parsley

directions:

Put on a big pot of water to boil pasta.

In a medium-sized cast iron or nonstick pan, fry up the bacon to your liking. Remove cooked bacon and place on paper towel. Pour out most of the bacon fat and reserve for other uses. Turn pan to medium heat. Add olive oil. Add shallots and cook until translucent. Add garlic and cook for one minute. Add vinegar and cook for 30 seconds. Turn off heat and set aside.

Bash anchovies with a mortar and pestle. Add almonds and bash until almost a paste but not quite.

In a large bowl (in which you will serve the pasta) add almond/anchovy mixture, egg. lemon juice/zest, parsley, cream, 1 cup of the cheese, salt, pepper, and cooked shallots/garlic. Whisk together.

Once the pasta water is boiling. add 1 tablespoon of salt. Add pasta. Before pouring pasta into a colander, scoop out and reserve at least 1 cup of pasta water. Cook pasta until al dente.

Add cooked and drained pasta to almond, anchovy, lemon juice/zest, parsley, cream, shallots, garlic mixture. Pour in 1/4 cup pasta water. Use tongs to combine. Taste. Add more pasta water, cheese, salt, and pepper as needed. Taste again.

Serve with toppings on the table: crumbled bacon, pasta water, parsley, parmesan, salt, pepper, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar.

INVENTION

I love coming up with new recipes. And so do my kids. Dash's latest is Supersonic Air Cream Pie. Combine eggs, chocolate, mint, basil, thyme, cream, and ice cubes and then bake at 350°F. It's edible. Really.

Last year, the editors at Real Simple asked some of their favorite food bloggers to come up with 3-ingredient recipes. Dash and I collaborated and made Bacon-Wrapped Broiled Figs with Goat Cheese. 3-year old Dash gleefully stuffed, snipped, and posed.

This year,  Real Simple is asking their readers to come up with the 3-ingredient recipes. The winning recipes will be featured on Real Simple's blog: Simply Stated. This is the final week of the competition so head on over right away!

BELLA'S FOOD RULES AND ANOTHER TOMATO RECIPE

Bella thinks crème fraiche is "awesome."

She loves salads.

She lives to use the Global chef knife.

Bella has redefined vegetarianism. She won't eat anything that comes from a fish, chicken, or cow. But pigs are fair game. We've been having a lot of prosciuitto, bacon, guanciale, serrano ham, and chorizo.

If Bella makes her own dinner, she eats more of it. 

Considering these current requirements/restrictions/tendencies, we came up with a plan last Saturday night that worked quite well. Bella was to make a salad all by herself that included bacon, lettuce, tomato, crème fraiche, and lots of herbs. I set out the mise en place, asked her to make a salad large enough for the 3 of us, and stepped back.

Dash wanted to join in. When he tried to juggle the tomatoes we sent him to the other end of the house to watch Wallace and Gromit.

Dash and I have had our peaceful moments cooking together, but in general he is a very physical cook. He climbs up and down the stool 20 times, the fridge flies open constantly, and there's lots of yelling, sweating, and swearing coming from me. Cooking with Bella is a much slower and more meticulous experience. She is cooking at a whole new level now since she is starting to taste and adjust dishes to her liking. This give her a lot of control. Bella likes to be in control.

Bella's neutral face is very serious. She inherited this from me. I swear she was having a great time.

I'm teaching Bella that cooking involves all of your senses. Smell and taste the dressing several times as you make it. Taste the salad several times as you dress it. Mix the salad with your hands so you can feel if the leaves are evenly coated. It's also more fun.

 

Bella has always said that she hates pepper. But she kept picking up the pepper mill and adding more and more to the dressing. Maybe it was just fun to turn the thing. Or maybe when kids are involved in cooking, the part of the brain that normally says "no" and "ew" and "I hate that" can start to shift.

I really wanted to crumble some blue cheese on top of the salad. Bella said, "Hell no." It was her creation so I didn't push it. I asked her if she could define deconstructed and she said, "Taking one thing apart to make another." You go, girl. So here's Bella's Deconstructed BLT Salad with Crème Fraiche and Herb Dressing.

 

BELLA'S DECONSTRUCTED BLT SALAD WITH CRÈME FRAICHE AND HERB DRESSING

printable recipe

This recipe includes the ingredients and approximate measurements. I recommend making it the way Bella did. Taste as you go along. Add and subtract ingredients as you wish. It's a very forgiving salad.

INGREDIENTS:
15-20 stale 1" baguette slices, grilled and rubbed with a garlic clove while still warm 

8 pieces of bacon, cooked the way you like

2 tablespoons crème fraiche

2 shallots, peeled and diced

2 green onions, thinly sliced

1/3 cup chopped herbs (any combo of mint, parsley, and/or basil)

2 tablespoons sherry wine vinegar, white wine, or champagne vinegar

2 teaspoons lemon juice

1 teaspoon lemon zest

6-8 tablespoons olive oil

salt

pepper

1 head of butter lettuce (or hearts of romaine, baby gems, arugula, spinach)

4 medium-sized tomatoes, cored and cut in wedges

DIRECTIONS:
Make croutons and cook the bacon. Set aside.

Place crème fraiche in a bowl. Whisk in shallots, green onions, herbs, vinegar, lemon juice, and lemon zest. Slowly whisk in about 5 tablespoons olive oil. Taste. Add more olive oil if necessary. But make sure the dressing is tangy enough because otherwise the salad will be bland. Place lettuce and tomato wedges in a bowl. Drizzle over some of the dressing, salt, and pepper. Mix with your hands. Taste. Add more dressing, salt, and pepper if needed. Place cooked bacon and baguette croutons on top of the salad. Drizzle over some more of the salad dressing. Sprinkle more herbs on top. Serve immediately.

more things to add:

blue cheese

walnuts

avocado
hard-boiled eggs 

3-INGREDIENT CHALLENGE + GUEST POST

Watch Dash get busy with figs, goat cheese, and bacon over at Real Simple Magazine's blog Simply Stated.

RECIPE COUTDOWN TO 2010: NUMBER 7

NUMBER 7: SQUASH AND CARROT SOUP TOPPED WITH YOGURT, PARSLEY, LEMON ZEST, AND BACON

This is how fast Dash moves. Here he is holding a glass bowl filled with oranges. This is why I'm always taking deep breaths.

Thankfully he seems to slow down a bit when he gets to cook. "What are we cooking today, mama?" is his constant refrain.  Today we are cooking squash and carrot soup.

 

Look at his focus as he peels the onion.

And then he starts rubbing his eyes saying, "The sun. The sun. Too bright." He doesn't realize that the onion is making his eyes sting, not the bright light.

We prep everything and then set it aside until the next day. I introduce him to the concept of "mise en place." Everything in its place. Bowls of chopped ingredients all ready to go. The next day Dash wants to "cook" the soup in the living room with his blue wooden pan. Onions. Yup. Carrots. Yup. Celery. We stir. And then we move to the kitchen to find the real heat.

I'm all about the toppings. Here's what we put on the squash and carrot soup: Greek yogurt, chopped parsley, lemon zest, and BACON.

SQUASH AND CARROT SOUP TOPPED WITH YOGURT, PARSLEY, LEMON ZEST AND BACON: printable recipe

2 tablespoons olive oil

6 carrots, diced

2 stalks of celery, diced

1/2 onion, diced

a least 2 big pinches of salt

a few turns of pepper

1 anchovy fillet (optional)

1 teaspoon tomato paste

4 cloves garlic

1 cup white wine

2 large squash or 3 medium (butternut, pumpkin, kabocha or anything similar)

4-6 cups chicken stock

1-2 cups water

2 sprigs thyme
squeeze of lemon juice (optional)
splash of vermouth (optional)

toppings:

bacon

Greek yogurt

chopped parsley

lemon zest

Warm olive oil in a big pot. Add, carrots, celery, and onion and keep at medium heat. While the aromatics cook, mash the salt, pepper, anchovy, tomato paste, and garlic into a paste with a mortar and pestle (or press the garlic and mix everything together in a bowl). Once the onions are translucent (4-5 minutes) add garlic/anchovy/tomato paste. Cook for a few minutes while constantly stirring until it smells caramelized and nutty. It can brown but don't let it burn. Add wine and cook off alcohol for a minute or so. Add squash, 4 cups of chicken stock, and thyme. Bring to a boil. Turn down to low heat, keep at a simmer, and cook until squash and carrots are tender (30-40 minutes). Remove thyme stems. Puree in the pot with an immersion blender or transfer to a cuisinart or blender. Taste and season as needed. If it's too thick add some chicken stock or water. I found I needed to add lots more salt. Sometimes adding a bit of vermouth or lemon juice at the end is nice as well. Serve by itself or with toppings.