SUNDAY LUNCH

"So the 7th and 8th graders have a separate talent show and they get to do inappropriate things like sing that song called I'm sexy and I know it."

"Bella, I don't know that song."

"Mama, come on. You don't know LMFAO?"

"Bella, anyone who is singing about being sexy is, um, kind of, um, a jerky jerk."

I want to say a cocky motherfucker but I'm trying so hard to be a well-behaved mama.

"Yes, mama. True. But it's a great song and you should just download it."

I count alligators in my head and wait for Dash to ask his question. I get to five before he delivers.

"Mama. What does sexy mean?"

"Well, it's a word used by grownups. And it means that you really really like how someone walks, talks, and moves through the world. Like someone really blows you away."

And I'm embarrassed to say that I keep going on and on with various definitions until Dash interrupts me.

"Okay. Okay. OKAY. I get it. Like a dog. Like look over there at that sexy dog."

"Well, that's the first time I've ever heard a dog described as sexy. It's more for people. Like if I'm lucky, on a good day, daddy might use the word sexy to describe me."

"Might."

"Right. Might."

"I don't know why he'd call YOU sexy."

"Dash. Eat your watercress salad."

CREME FRAICHE RECIPE #3:

Salad of Watercress, Feta, Almonds, Green Onions, Crispy Green Garlic, and Creme Fraiche.

I'm a total whore for anchovy garlic salad dressing, but you don't need it for this salad because the watercress and the spring garlic bring so much flavor. A simple coating of olive oil and sherry wine vinegar is just right. This is a hardcore simple mashup but I swear it's super tasty. I'm not going to give amounts. You could even put out bowls of all the components on the table for people to make individual salads. 

Gather the following:

olive oil 

spring garlic

salt (kosher)

balsamic vinegar

watercress

olive oil (for dressing)

sherry wine vinegar

salt (something coarse and crunchy like Maldon or grey or fleur de del)

chopped green onions

sliced almonds

feta (I'm partial to French but any kind works), crumbled

crème fraiche

Here's the only cooking you need to do for this salad: Remove the thin outer layer from two heads of spring garlic (if you don't have spring garlic, you can use shallots). Finely chop the stalks all the way down to the white bulbs. Set aside chopped stalks with the chopped green onions. Remove the bottom stems from the remaining young garlic heads. Slice thinly in either direction (the pieces will fall apart). Crank some heat under a pan. Add a few tablespoons olive oil. Once it's smoking, add sliced spring garlic. Add big pinch of salt. Cook until softened and starting to brown a bit. Turn heat down to low. Add a splash of balsamic vinegar. Cook for about twenty minutes until they're melt-in-your-mouth crispy. They should taste like garlic candy.

Assembly: Place watercress in a big bowl. Coat greens with a few splashes of olive oil and sherry wine vinegar (I usually add about two parts olive oil to one part vinegar). Add pinch of salt. Toss. Taste. Adjust. 

Add chopped green onions and green garlic stems, sliced almonds, crumbled feta, and crispy green garlic. Toss again. Taste. Adjust seasoning. Drip crème fraiche all over the top of the salad. Add any additional green onions or green garlic stems. Serve.

If any is left over, don't throw it out because it's tasty (though wilted!) the next day on grilled bread with extra feta, a splash of balsamic, and crème fraiche.

CRAVINGS AND TOPPINGS

Dash and Bella crave very different kinds of food. Dash spoons salad dressing right into his mouth, gnaws on fennel fronds, sucks down anchovy fillets (just like his mama), and eats any kind of egg you offer him.

 Bella, on the other hand, is happiest when cracked out on sugar.

She came up with a recipe the other day that went like this:

- roll a ball of chocolate chip cookie dough in chocolate shavings
- coat the ball with caramel sauce
- roll the ball in sugar
- bake for a bit

She tried the recipe. It was a SUGAR EXPLOSION and she ate every burnt scrap.

But I've noticed a change in Bella. I haven't heard these words in a while (usually followed by a very dramatic gag): "Eww, those vegetables make me want to BARF!" Now she will eat most vegetables when they're in the form of a tart, soup, gratin, or salad. But she needs TOPPINGS (just like her mama). We've been thinly slicing cippolini onions, green garlic, or shallots and frying them in olive oil. We call them "crispies" and we sprinkle them on everything. The remaining oil can be used all week for salad dressings or marinades. These are the cippolini crispies that we put on our asparagus and potato soup.

Over the past month we've been making an asparagus and potato gratin two ways. Bella LOVES both versions. The simple one is just potato slices drizzled with olive oil and salt, topped with peeled asparagus, bread crumbs, and cheese. Dash and Bella insisted on layering the potato slices one at a time. A lovely process to watch the two of them do, but not necessary. You can just dump in the slices and smooth them out. After it's cooked, you can pop it out of the tart pan and slice it up like a pizza.

The other version is a bit more fancy-pants. You mix the potato slices with egg, cream, and crispy green garlic. Then you top it with peeled asparagus, more crunchy green garlic, balsamic-marinated green garlic, bread crumbs, parmesan, and pecorino.

To prep for the gratin, Dash snipped the ends off of the asparagus.

We went all out and made green garlic AND cippolini onion crispies. Dash used the onions to scratch his back.

My husband said this was one of the best things I've ever made. He had consumed only 3 glasses of wine so I think he can be trusted.

For even  more asparagus inspiration, go over to Yummy Supper for a tasty (I've tried it!) Spring Vegetable Tart and an Asparagus/Lemon Risotto. And Crumpets and Cakes has a lovely Asparagus and Potato Tart. Work it, you Bay Area food bloggers.

POTATO AND ASPARAGUS GRATIN WITH GREEN GARLIC CRISPIES

printable recipe

-You can make this tart in a round or rectangular tart pan. I used a 9" round.
-You can keep this very simple by just slicing potatoes, coating them with a bit of olive oil and lots of salt, spreading them in the pan, topping them with peeled asparagus/bread crumbs/cheese, and baking until cooked through and browned. Or, check out this version with a few more ingredients and steps.
- Instead of green garlic (or in addition to) you can use cippolini onions, baby onions, leeks, or shallots.
 serves 2-4 

ingredients:

-olive oil or butter for greasing tart pan

-1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
-4 tablespoons olive oil

-3 stalks green garlic, roots removed and most of the soft green part trimmed off

-1/3 cup heavy cream

-1 egg

-1 1/2 teaspoons salt

-a few turns of pepper
-8 medium-sized potatoes (don't use Idaho, yukon gold work really well), peeled and placed in a bowl of water until ready to slice 

-14-18 spears of asparagus, ends trimmed off and peeled up to the base of the tip

-1/2 cup bread crumbs

-1/4 cup pecorino cheese

-1/4 cup parmesan cheese

directions:

Preheat oven to 350° F. Grease tart pan or baking dish with olive oil or butter.

In a small bowl, pour balsamic vinegar over 1/3 of the sliced green garlic. Set aside until you assemble the tart.

In a small saucepan, heat olive oil for a minute. Add sliced green garlic. They will cook really fast. With a slotted spoon, remove them when they are crispy and brown (not black) and place on a paper towel. Set aside the green garlic oil to cool.

Whisk together the egg, cream, 2 tablespoons of the cooled garlic oil, 1/2 the crispy green garlic, salt, and pepper. Slice the potatoes paper thin and place in a mixing bowl. Pour egg mixture over the sliced potatoes. Use your hands to evenly coat all the potato slices. Spread coated potato slices in the bottom of the greased tart pan. Place the asparagus on top of the potatoes in any pattern you like. If you have the stalks alternating directions then people are more likely to get an asparagus tip in their slice, but you don't have to slice this tart in the conventional way.

Sprinkle top with bread crumbs and both grated cheeses. Finally, sprinkle on the remaining crispy green garlic. Strain the green garlic that's been soaking in the balsamic and sprinkle them over the gratin. Save the vinegar for salad dressing (if it's not too bitter).

Bake until potatoes are fully cooked. Undercooked potatoes do not taste good. Check the gratin after an hour, but it could take up to an hour and a half depending on the potatoes. Test the potatoes by pressing a the tip of a knife into the middle of the gratin. If there's any resistance, the potatoes aren't done. If the asparagus and toppings start to brown too much you can cover the gratin with tin foil until the potatoes are done.

Serve warm with a salad. You can make some salad dressing with the leftover green garlic oil and balsamic vinegar.