Wednesday, June 6, 2012


"So the 7th and 8th graders have a separate talent show and they get to do inappropriate things like sing that song called I'm sexy and I know it."

"Bella, I don't know that song."

"Mama, come on. You don't know LMFAO?"

"Bella, anyone who is singing about being sexy is, um, kind of, um, a jerky jerk."

I want to say a cocky motherfucker but I'm trying so hard to be a well-behaved mama.

"Yes, mama. True. But it's a great song and you should just download it."

I count alligators in my head and wait for Dash to ask his question. I get to five before he delivers.

"Mama. What does sexy mean?"

"Well, it's a word used by grownups. And it means that you really really like how someone walks, talks, and moves through the world. Like someone really blows you away."

And I'm embarrassed to say that I keep going on and on with various definitions until Dash interrupts me.

"Okay. Okay. OKAY. I get it. Like a dog. Like look over there at that sexy dog."

"Well, that's the first time I've ever heard a dog described as sexy. It's more for people. Like if I'm lucky, on a good day, daddy might use the word sexy to describe me."


"Right. Might."

"I don't know why he'd call YOU sexy."

"Dash. Eat your watercress salad."
Salad of Watercress, Feta, Almonds, Green Onions, Crispy Green Garlic, and Creme Fraiche.

I'm a total whore for anchovy garlic salad dressing, but you don't need it for this salad because the watercress and the spring garlic bring so much flavor. A simple coating of olive oil and sherry wine vinegar is just right. This is a hardcore simple mashup but I swear it's super tasty. I'm not going to give amounts. You could even put out bowls of all the components on the table for people to make individual salads. 

Gather the following:
olive oil 
spring garlic
salt (kosher)
balsamic vinegar
olive oil (for dressing)
sherry wine vinegar
salt (something coarse and crunchy like Maldon or grey or fleur de del)
chopped green onions
sliced almonds
feta (I'm partial to French but any kind works), crumbled

Here's the only cooking you need to do for this salad: Remove the thin outer layer from two heads of spring garlic (if you don't have spring garlic, you can use shallots). Finely chop the stalks all the way down to the white bulbs. Set aside chopped stalks with the chopped green onions. Remove the bottom stems from the remaining young garlic heads. Slice thinly in either direction (the pieces will fall apart). Crank some heat under a pan. Add a few tablespoons olive oil. Once it's smoking, add sliced spring garlic. Add big pinch of salt. Cook until softened and starting to brown a bit. Turn heat down to low. Add a splash of balsamic vinegar. Cook for about twenty minutes until they're melt-in-your-mouth crispy. They should taste like garlic candy.

Assembly: Place watercress in a big bowl. Coat greens with a few splashes of olive oil and sherry wine vinegar (I usually add about two parts olive oil to one part vinegar). Add pinch of salt. Toss. Taste. Adjust. 

Add chopped green onions and green garlic stems, sliced almonds, crumbled feta, and crispy green garlic. Toss again. Taste. Adjust seasoning. Drip crème fraiche all over the top of the salad. Add any additional green onions or green garlic stems. Serve.

If any is left over, don't throw it out because it's tasty (though wilted!) the next day on grilled bread with extra feta, a splash of balsamic, and crème fraiche.


  1. That salad looks really enticing! The astounding part about your post is this song. My six year old son has been singing it NON STOP for the past week, with a frenzied dance rendition of it in the last 24 hours, every time we ask him to put his shoes on, get his clothes on, basically do anything. I know where it's from now... the yard at recess! Grade one seemed a little young to me.

    1. such an amazing image of your son rocking out to this song. wow. they do seem young. and they have no idea what they're singing about. but i suppose i had no idea what i was singing about back in the day.

  2. dash's dog reference made me LMFAO. hilarious. can't wait to try the salad!

    1. definitely the best thing he has said in a long time!

  3. That exchange just put a huge smile on my face!

  4. The salad looks so mouthwatering! And your exchange, hahaha. With summers round the corner this salad do gets added to my to do list.

  5. "Dash. Eat your watercress salad." That was a perfect rejoinder.

  6. ur awesome! I love this post:) ANd the tarts look deelish! thx for making me laugh

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