SUMMER VINYASA

Wake up with the birds and the sun. Check to make sure the dog is still alive.  Clean rat shit off the butcher block. Take tart dough out of the freezer. Make a hella strong cup of coffee. Ninja your way into your son's locked room and find him asleep with a pocket knife, Liquid Paper, and a spy pen. Offer eggs. Offer oatmeal. Offer cinnamon toast. Watch your kids' eyes bug out above the cinnamon toast when you rant about the importance of gun control. Pile into the car. Tell your daughter you're sorry but you just can't explain Pink's lyrics it's just you and your hand tonight. End up at Target. Try to talk your daughter out of the short short denim shorts. Try to talk yourself out of the hot pink bikini. Buy both. Yell at a woman in a black SUV to slow down bitch and pick a fucking lane already. Boil garlic cloves in olive oil. Listen to your daughter do a mama-style door slam when you tell her she can't have a new iPod. Pour hot garlic oil over cherry tomatoes and simmer them with salt, sugar, and lemon thyme. Consider returning the hot pink bikini. Ask your son how much he loves you and shiver when he says mama I love you neverending and forever. Assemble your third cherry tomato, garlic confit, and anchovy tart of the week. Drink a martini and cut your son's hair. Regret being that annoying mom who says you don't like anchovies what is wrong with you? Smile when your daughter offers to do the dishes. Snuggle in bed with your daughter and allow her to pet your head. Sit down at the computer to try to articulate your excitement about this tart and realize you're so tired that all that you can write is I fucking love this tart I fucking love this tart I fucking love this tart. Crawl into bed without brushing your teeth and notice you're still wearing your apron. Hug your dog and mumble who the heck do I think I am attempting to do anything around here except trying to keep all of you creatures alive? Wake up at 3 a.m. drenched in sweat. Check on your kids. Go back to sleep until your screaming son wakes you up at 5 a.m. Lie down forehead to forehead until his nightmare fades and he drifts back to sleep. Flip on the kitchen lights and say good morning motherfuckers to the rats. Watch the sun rise. Eat some cold tomato and anchovy tart. Clean the rat shit off the butcher block. Make a hella strong cup of coffee. Remove the tags and tuck the hot pink bikini into your underwear drawer.

CHERRY TOMATO, GARLIC CONFIT, AND ANCHOVY TART

printable recipe

This tart would be super tasty made with pizza dough or puff pastry.

Make sure to prepare the tart dough a few hours ahead of time. It works better to cool garlic confit and tomato mixture before assembling tart. But if you're in hurry then just throw it all together and it will be fine. And if anchovies gross you out, skip them. Corn is a wonderful addition. Or  spread under the tomatoes a layer of goat cheese mixed with 1 egg, salt, and heavy cream. Play. Maybe some pancetta? Prosciutto? Or an egg or two cracked on the tart? I'm hungry.

ingredients:

1 1/2 times this recipe for tart dough, refrigerated for a few hours (or just make double and saves scraps for mini-tarts)

1  head of garlic confit, cooled

2 pints cherry tomatoes (any kind, color, or size)

2 tablespoons garlic confit oil

4 sprigs lemon thyme (or regular thyme)

big pinch kosher salt

big pinch white sugar

2 tablespoons Dijon mustard (I love Grey Poupon)

at least 10 anchovy fillets (packed in oil)

parmesan or pecorino cheese

directions: 

Roll tart dough into desired shape. You can press it into a large tart pan or leave it free form on a sheet pan. Refrigerate until needed. Put garlic oil in medium-sized pot on medium heat. Add tomatoes, thyme, salt, and sugar. Cook and stir until tomatoes soften just a bit (about 3 minutes). A few tomatoes will probably explode. Take off heat and cool to room temperature.

Preheat oven to 350°F.

Spread mustard over cold tart dough leaving about 1/2" at the edges. Strain tomato mixture and save remaining broth for soup (very important or tart will be soggy). Spread cooked tomatoes all over tart dough. Drape anchovies over the tomatoes. Squeeze garlic confit cloves out of skins and onto the tart (I like placing a clove next to each anchovy fillet). If you want, place a few more cloves in the center of the tart along with the thyme sprigs. Grate cheese all over. Paint exposed tart dough edges with garlic oil.

Bake until nice and brown and beautiful. It should take between 30 and 40 minutes. A good test is to pick up the corner of the tart and see if it's floppy or firm. Take it out when it doesn't bow at all. Or, if you like it a bit gooey, take it out when it's not quite firm.

Eat right away. Maybe with arugula and avocado bowls and anchovy salad dressing.

AMALGAMATION

My grandmother took 24 hours to get back to me with feedback about my fig tart with blue cheese and honey. I was a bit worried. 

"Here's the thing." 

Big pause from Grandma Phyllis.

"It was very good." 

Phew.

"Grandma, what is it?"

"I'm just not sure if this is supposed to be lunch or dessert,"

I say it can be both.

Or neither. 

It's a cheese and fruit course slammed together.

It's a teatime treat (yes, we do tea around here).

It's my kind of sweet and savory breakfast combo. 

It's tasty with Sauvignon Blanc.

Or Pinot Noir.

It can be eaten with your fingers.

Or it can be delicately nibbled with my (other) grandmother's fancy ivory-handled dessert forks.

It works with a salad of baby gems and warm anchovy vinaigrette. 

And it's a perfect match for a roast chicken.

And it turns out my kids will eat anything that's drizzled with honey. Even figs baked with lots of stinky Roquefort.

FIG AND BLUE CHEESE TART WITH (LOTS OF) HONEY
printable recipe
ingredients:
1 recipe for shortcrust pastry dough
3/4 cup goat cheese
1/3 cup parmesan cheese, grated
1 egg
3 tablespoons heavy cream
1/2 teaspoon salt
pepper
12-14 figs, halved and stems trimmed off
1/2 cup blue cheese (Roquefort, Stilton, Wisconsin, Gorgonzola—any blue will do)
honey for drizzling
directions:
Remove dough from the fridge 10 minutes ahead of time to soften. Preheat oven to 350°F. Roll out dough and press into a 9" tart pan. Pre-bake for 10 minutes. The dough might puff up or slide down a bit. Down worry. Just press it back in. Remove from oven and cool while preparing cheese mixture.
In a standing mixer (or by hand), mix together goat cheese, parmesan, egg, heavy cream, salt, and pepper. Spread cheese evenly into the bottom of the pre-baked shell. Place sliced figs cut side up  haphazardly or carefully on top of the cheese mixture. Crumble (if dry) or scoop (if creamy) chunks of blue cheese all over the tart. Bake until cheese base is set and figs are nicely browned (you might need to throw it under the broiler for a minute for optimum color). Drizzle honey all over the tart. Please don't serve it cold. It's icky cold.

RECIPE COUNTDOWN TO 2010: NUMBER 5

NUMBER 5: SHORTCRUST PASTRY

Tomorrow I'm going to post recipes for lamb pie and chanterelles tart. But first I thought I'd talk a bit about shortcrust pastry. You can buy a frozen tart shell at the supermarket. Often they are quite good. But if you have time to do one at home it's pretty straightforward.

Kids love dough. Even when it's just flour, salt, butter, and water. It's just like working with clay. And it tastes so much better. Give your kids the scraps to taste and use to make their own mini-tarts. Last week Dash and Bella did one with strawberry jam.

For the first time in (almost) 40 years I can make shortcrust pastry dough for a tart, galette, or pie without referring to a recipe. I have my own recipe. A template. Very satisfying. I might add cornmeal and pepper to one or vanilla and lemon zest to another.  But it's basically the same each time. Here's a bit of what I've learned.

TIPS:
1. When you first start making this dough you'll learn more if you do it by hand. It's hard to overmix when you're doing it by hand. I can't tell you how many times I've over-pulsed dough with the Cuisinart. It's really hard to see what's going on in there. Get your hands into the dough instead.
2. To incorporate the butter into the flour mixture you need to squeeze the butter and flour between your fingers quite vigorously, as if you're trying to snap your fingers.
3. Use very cold butter and liquid.
4. Make the dough ahead of time so that it can chill in the fridge for at least an hour before you roll it out.

STEPS:
1. Combine the dry ingredients.
 2. Cut the cold butter into 1/2 inch square chunks. Mix in the butter until the dough looks like coarse cornmeal with pea-sized chunks.
 3. Add some of the cold liquid. Lightly mix with your fingers or a fork.  Press a bit of the dough together between your fingers. You want it to just come together into a dough. Add more liquid if it's too dry.

4. Place onto a long piece of plastic wrap and use the sides of the plastic wrap to press the dough together and flatten into a disc. Look closely. You want to see chunks of butter.

5. Chill for at least an hour. Roll out using lots of flour on the board and rolling pin. Press into a tart pan, pie pan, or place flat onto a sheet pan for a galette.

VARIATIONS:

Once you get comfortable making this recipe you can play around a bit by adding the butter in 2 batches. Add the first half of butter to the flour mixture and mix until it looks like coarse cornmeal. Add second half of butter and mix it in until second half of butter looks like large peas. This makes the dough tender and flaky at the same time. Proceed with steps 4 and 5.

Play with adding different flavors depending on the filling. To the flour you could add: salt, pepper, lemon zest, cinnamon, sugar or cornmeal. You could replace some of the cold liquid with: milk, cream, vanilla, lemon juice, or orange juice.

BASIC SHORTCRUST PASTRY RECIPE:  
This works well for any recipe that calls for tart, double-crust pie, or galette dough. Just double the recipe and split into 2 even discs for double-crust pie dough.  It freezes really well for months.

printable recipe

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

8 tablespoons unsalted butter (one stick), cut into small chunks and very cold

3-6 tablespoons ice water

Mix flour and salt in a bowl. Cut butter into 1/2 inch square chunks and toss into dry ingredients. With your fingers or a pastry cutter, incorporate the butter into the flour mixture until the butter chunks are the size of peas. Add half the cold water and mix it in with a fork. Add more water if you need to, enough so that when you squeeze the mixture in your fingers it's just moist enough to form a dough. Pour dough out onto a large piece of plastic wrap. Use the sides of the plastic wrap to press the dough into a disc. Wrap tightly and refrigerate for at least an hour before rolling it out.