Thursday, April 3, 2014

BEDTIME STORIES

Monday
Dash, what did you do today at school?

Chased girls.

Which ones?

Ella. And Chloe. Oh my god they have a lot of girls protecting them.

What do you do when you catch one?

That doesn't happen much.

But if you do?

We throw them in the dungeon. But they always escape. They put their heads down and bust out like bulls.

Strong girls. I like that.

I slowly back out of his room.

Mom. Stay. I need you.

Good night, beautiful.

You suck, mom. I always ask you to stay and you never do.

Tuesday
How did it go today with the girl chasing?

Sadly, mom, we didn't get any.

Girls are hard to catch. 

He grabs me by the shoulders.

Mom. Stay. I need you.

I slip out of his arms like I'm removing armor.

Wednesday
Dash. I've been thinking. If you want to catch them, you've got to be smarter.

You mean like steal their detailed dungeon maps?

Smarter than that.

Like what?

Maybe offer them some dessert.

Interesting idea, mom.

He rolls away and faces the wall. I can feel his brain churning.

Thursday
Thanks so much for giving me two Rice Krispie treats in my lunch.

You're so welcome. I thought they would make you smile.

And guess what? Chloe saw them and freaked out because she wanted one so bad. She was all blooblablooblablooblablaaaaaaaaaaa. Shaking her arms. Like a monster. I was super scared. So I gave her half a Rice Krispie treat.

Friday
Chase any girls today?

No, we're done with that.

Why?

I don't know. Maybe we should just ignore girls for a little while. I don't understand them.

Well, I'm a girl. Don't ignore me. 

You're not a girl. You're a woman. And you're old.

Saturday
Mom, will you please google something for me? Type in what's the difference between boys and girls?

Dashi, I know the answer to that. Girls have vaginas. Boys have penises.

I heard something else. I heard that girls have more taste buds.

Well, that explains a lot of things.

Like what? Mom. What does it explain? Google it.

Scoot over. I'm lying down.

Awesome!

You want to hear what daddy cooked for me on the night we met?

Yes!

It was the middle of the night. It was snowing...
BROWN BUTTER RICE CRISPY TREATS WITH BITTERSWEET CHOCOLATE
printable recipe
Adapted from the classic recipe for Kellogg's Rice Krispie Treats. Use really dark and bitter chocolate to balance out the sweetness of the marshmallows.
serve 2-8

4 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 pound bag of trashy marshmallows (don't waste the fancy organic kind on this recipe)
6 cups Rice Krispies (I use Kellogg's)
1/3 teaspoon kosher salt
5 ounces bittersweet chocolate

With butter or nonstick baking spray, grease  a baking dish (about 8"x10"). Lightly grease a piece of parchment that's about the size of your hand. Set both aside.

In a medium-sized pot, melt the butter over medium heat. It will take a few minutes to brown. But stick around. It will sizzle for a bit. Once a wonderful nutty smell hits your nostrils, watch carefully. The foaming and sizzling will slow down and brown bits will drop to the bottom of the pan. At this point, turn the heat down to low. Add the marshmallows. Stir until they're all melted. Turn off heat and stir in Rice Krispies and salt.

Quickly pour mixture into the greased baking dish. Move fast. With the piece of greased parchment, press it down until firmly until it's flat and even. Allow it to cool for about 15 minutes. Loosen by working your way around with a spatula. Slowly pry the firmed up block out of the dish. Be patient. This can take a few minutes. If it falls apart, you can always press it back together. Place on a cutting board.

 In a double boiler or over low heat, melt the chocolate. Drizzle melted chocolate all over the firmed up Rice Krispie mixture. Place in the fridge to set up for about 20 minutes. Cut into squares. Eat.

Store squares at room temperature for a day or two. Or freeze for a few months. But believe me, they taste best right away. Slightly warm. Fresh. With a bit of extra chocolate.

41 comments:

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  2. Oh what a sweet post Phyllis, I could feel myself tearing up. Now these brown butter rice crispy treats make me want to scream out with joy!

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  3. I wish I was a fly on the wall in that bedroom, so sweet!
    Liz Tree

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  4. Laughing so hard I'm crying. You have quite a way with words, woman. But you already know that.

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    Replies
    1. ashlae. it makes me so happy that you laughed so hard. xoxo

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  5. As a mama to a six-year old boy, this really speaks to me! Thank you for sharing.

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  6. This is one of those posts where it's clear just how fucking good a mother you are.

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  7. Phyllis, I just reconnected to your blog after visiting it in the past after occasional mentions in the NY Times. On a whim, I read every post, working my way back in time to the very first one. Two observations:

    1. It was fascinating to watch Dash do his best Benjamin Button, his face gradually melting back into the soft roundness of toddlerhood.
    2. Your writing has moved from the equivalent of a friendly conversation at a party to a three-glasses-of-wine heart-to-heart with a close friend. We're all privileged that you let us in without expecting anything in return.

    It's my hope that writing your blog is as meaningful and enriching for you as reading it is for me and, I'm guessing, many others.

    -vm

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  8. Aw, the stories are so sweet! I'm about to get into bed, so this post has made for a really nice bedtime story for myself, haha. I don't eat marshmallows because I'm vegetarian, but the post was lovely regardless of my inability to eat marshmallows!

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  9. What a great post - oh, that boy! Terrific story.

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  10. What a lovely post =) I was totally one of those girls that would charge out of "prison" with my elbows up and my head down.

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    Replies
    1. thanks, lisa. and lately, for a break from the insanity, i feel i have to charge out of the house with my elbows up and my head down. with kids swinging at me right and left.

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  11. So funny, the way kids think. Loved this!

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  12. I love your stories :)

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  13. Spectacular. But you are SO screwed. :-) The kid is a genius.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Elissa. So glad you read this! And yes. My dude's brain. Lots going on. What a ride. What a ride.

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  14. Lovely story :) and awesome recipe. Thanks for this!!

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  16. Oh my gosh. I loved every second of this. Thanks so much for sharing. Xoxo

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  17. Hi Phyllis, Jill Melton here with Relish magazine. I love this post and would love to use this recipe and photo in our August issue. Could we talk? you can email me at jmelton@athlonmediagroup.com. Thank you so much. JIll

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