Friday, May 23, 2014

FROM MY COLUMN AT FOOD52

A letter to my daughter. And some recipe ideas for the long weekend. I highly recommend pouring crème fraîche all over your pasta. And butterscotch sauce all over your caramel ice cream.

…………..

Dear Bella,  
This morning, you rolled over and yelled out, I want a grilled cheese with pesto in my lunch. And then you added, please. And then you said, but only if that's okay, mom, if not, just make me whatever is easiest. That's when I felt my heart grow too damn big for my chest. It pushed up and made a little lump in my throat. It made the back of my neck tingle.
And that's when I thought, hot damn. That baby girl of mine is going to be okay. I just need to keep letting go.
You probably don't remember, but I spent the first six months of your life holding your teeny screaming body to my chest. While bouncing vigorously on a massive blue exercise ball. Because you thought this world sucked. And you wanted back into my womb. The first time I could put you down without hearing a colicky wail, I sobbed with relief and accomplishment. As if, yes, I have arrived. I am done. I did my work.
But then I had to be brave enough to walk around the corner to make myself a cup of coffee and believe that you would still be alive when I came back.
Then I learned to let go of your hand. Your baby words. Your need to always be by my side. 
More and more, lately, I've been jumping ahead to the day that you move out of our house. I have so much more to teach you. How are we going to fit it all in?
So I've decided to start writing things down. Here's my first lesson. And surprise surprise, it involves the kitchen. Start here, and many other things will fall into place:
1. Freeze little bits of everything. Bacon. Tart dough. Half a cookie. Nuts. Coffee. A chunk of parmesan. Pesto. Tomato sauce. Baguette scraps. That way you can throw a dinner together in the middle of the night. You never know. 
2. Make your own crème fraîche. Once a week. It will brighten up everything. Your windowsill. Your chocolate cake. Your pancakes. Your pasta.
3. Put lemon zest in everything.
4. Learn to make empty-out-the-fridge pesto. Kale and almonds and manchego. Or arugula and walnuts and goat cheese. Almost any combination works. It is cost effective. It is versatile.
And someday, in your own kitchen, you will find yourself eating pasta with broccolini pesto, crème fraîche, and lemon zest. For breakfast. Like I did this morning. But until then, I will rouse you out of bed, help you search for matching socks, wipe the Nutella off your chin, and tuck your hair behind your ears. Until you slip slip slip out of my fingers into someone else's arms.
Love,
Mama
https://food52.com/blog/10236-pasta-with-broccolini-pesto-and-creme-fraiche
https://food52.com/blog/10327-romaine-and-avocado-salad-with-anchovy-garlic-vinaigrette
CITRUS SALAD WITH GOAT CHEESE-STUFFED DATES
https://food52.com/blog/10050-citrus-salad-with-goat-cheese-stuffed-dates
https://food52.com/blog/9863-romaine-salad-with-bacon-5-minute-eggs-and-pesto-dressing
https://food52.com/blog/10136-butterscotch-sauce
https://food52.com/blog/10432-caramel-ice-cream

29 comments:

  1. Oh my God, Phyllis. That letter. It could be from any of us. Maybe without creme fraiche on the windowsill and bits of pastry in the freezer, but every mother knows how this feels.

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    1. katie. thank you. i love hearing from you. means so much.

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  2. This, this, this! I have been feeling this way so often lately. Just beautiful. THANK YOU, for the words and the recipes.

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    1. my pleasure, melissa! thanks for reading.

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  3. Lady you are killing me....

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  4. Man it's good to hear from you. Always worth waiting for.

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    1. oh thank you. i hope to post more in the fall. once the book is in! xoxo

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  5. Dude, I love everything about this. xoxox E

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  6. What they said. I'm there. I love your column.

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  7. It is a informative post , thanks for sharing

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  8. Letting go is such a great and terrifying thing. I love this letter, this post.

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    1. thank you. so glad i re-shared this letter. and yes. parenting = letting go.

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  9. What a great post - and such sage advice. I think my favorite is "you never know." Because you don't. And sometimes you have to whip something up (or just want to) out of nowhere and it just might be the middle of the night. This was an awesome awesome read. :)

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    1. thank you! and i agree. the older i get the more i realize: you never know. with birth. with parenting. with every single night. xoxo

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  10. This is great! Check out http://www.foodiedelicious.com for other great recipes

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  11. Like the homemade creme fraiche in your recipes, a new post from you brightens my week!

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  12. This post warmed my heart. I hope one day my child will be as thoughtful as yours.

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  13. Love it! Teaching my kids cooking with creativity, as best I can! Your tips are always fantastic!

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  14. Love the cute and creative letter!

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  15. "Until you slip slip slip out of my fingers into someone else's arms." You just put in words what I feel in a constant basis… I'm a mom of three kids, living day by day, by God's grace.

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  16. Hi
    I'm a fan of your blog and want to say I love the objective form to write your texts.
    Your posts have been of great importance to me and I always come back here for new information.
    Congratulations for the work and wish you luck and success. Thanks for sharing all this with us.

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  17. Super cute!!! That letter was really adorable. Just one little comment: can your little girl please 'slip away' into her own, amazing life instead of immediately needing someone else ("into someone else's arms")? It felt quite I'm-American-so-I-need-to-marry-to-be-successful-as-a-woman... But most likely you didn't mean it like this and I'm just nitpicking! Keep up the wonderful stories!

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    1. oh how i love your comment. i hear what you're saying. i guess what i mean is that in many ways we don't completely leave our parents until we truly fall for someone else. man or woman. wife or husband. or even a best friend. just that feeling that a child will connect so wholeheartedly with someone else that they will no longer want mama's arms.

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  18. Beautiful! Great recipes too!!

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  19. I JUST came to your blog, via following you on Instagram and my gosh, I'm already in love. I think reading your au revoir to your husband/beef short rib post had already piquéd my emotions and then I read this.....I have huge fat tears rolling down my cheeks. I'm much further down the line with my children, my eldest (daughter) having just moved home after finishing university and my youngest (son) just going in to his final year of uni. That 'letting go' is still going on, it's odd as they have already 'gone' but they are still definitely here and I think, maybe what you say in a response to the comment above is so true, they will always default back to us, their parents, until the time when someone else has replaced us and boy, my heart breaks to think that that time will come (although, of course it's a good thing and of course we won't ever be completely replaced). I'm going to show both my children this post - it's so beautiful.
    Thank you
    Susie

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