CONTINUING

He places his empty mug in the dishwasher, puts his breakfast scraps in the compost bin, and starts to walk away.

You shiver with the anger of wanting to be anywhere but here. 

It's not the kind you dream about. You know, the whipping-you-around-and-throwing-you-against-the-kitchen-wall kind. This one is like an aside. 

You feel one hand on your shoulder and another on your lower back as he leans in to kiss you on the curve of the neck where the hair sometimes stands up. It is so unexpectedly gentle that some sort of warmth spreads along your spine until you feel all wrapped up in this casual kiss. And you start to cry from relief because you no longer want to throw a plate at his head or tell him to move the fuck out. You just settle. Into the dishes. Into your cooking clogs. Into the mess that you've made. The chaos that you've chosen. And hard as you try, you can't even remember why you were mad in the first place.

You make him some pancakes. And you tell him that you need more of those kisses. Please. More. 

CRÈME FRAÎCHE PANCAKES

printable recipe

Makes lots and lots of pancakes.

(This is adapted from a recipe that comes from my parents. They got it from a babysitter who lived in the apartment above ours in San Francisco in the '70s.)

Best to make the batter the night before. Keep it in the fridge. They are thin, delicate and crêpe-like. You can replace the crème fraîche with sour cream or yoghurt. Don't get all crazy and add whole grain anything because I swear they won't be as tasty. 

ingredients:

7 eggs

1 cup cottage cheese

1 1/4 cups crème fraîche

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 1/4 cups flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

directions:

Place all ingredients in the blender. Blend for 10 seconds. Scrape down the sides. Blend for about 15 more seconds. Pour into a pitcher. Use right away if you want. Or (even better) place it in the fridge overnight. It separates a bit when it sits in the fridge. The color can also look a little funky and green. Don't worry. Just mix it well right before use and all will be well.

Crank a griddle to high heat. Add some butter. Carefully pour batter to desired size (it will spatter a bit). They cook very fast (about 30 seconds per side). You'll need to keep regulating the heat between batches. Best to eat them right away. They don't hold up for long. Serve with butter and warm maple syrup. 

SOME FRIENDS FOR YOUR TURKEY

I'm not going to enter the to-brine or not-to-brine debate. I have no opinions about spatchcocking (though it's fun to say the word out loud ten times in row). I've basted with hefeweizen, IPA, sake, Chardonnay, Lillet Blanc, chicken stock, vegetable stock, and butter. They all work beautifully. And just for the record, deep-frying one of those motherfuckers looks pretty awesome but I wouldn't attempt it with a Dash-like creature anywhere near my house.

Lucky for you, everyone else out there this week is telling you how to cook turkeys. I'm way more comfortable discussing side dishes. Here are some thoughts about the vegetables we've been cooking and really enjoying. Yes. Even the kids. Well. Sort of. Amazing what bribing for those final pieces of Halloween candy will do.

If you're new to cooking fall vegetables, here's all you need to know: it's almost impossible to mess them up. Delicate spring and summer vegetables, like green beans and asparagus, can go from crispy perfect to airplane food in a matter of minutes. Not so with squash, eggplants, turnips, Brussels sprouts, and potatoes, which benefit from all kinds of time in the oven. You can even forget about them for a half an hour and nothing bad will happen. No need for a kitchen timer. Just keep peeking, poking, and tasting every 20 minutes or so.

Remove them from the oven when desired gooeyness (eggplant) or tenderness (squash) or caramelization (Brussels sprouts) or crispiness (potatoes) is reached. Garnish with chopped fresh herbs. Maybe some crème fraîche. Serve as a side dish.

Or savor throughout the week sliced on pizza, tossed with pasta, stirred into risotto, or smeared on toasted baguette with a sprinkle of salt and a splash of olive oil. And at the end of the week, gather up all of the remaining scraps and eat them warmed and scattered over a bowl of buttery polenta. That's what we did. And now we're so sick of vegetables that we're heading back into another run of breakfast food. Blintzes, to be precise.

Here are some specifics and variations.

ROASTED EGGPLANT WITH GARLIC AND ANCHOVIES
The most important thing to know about eggplant is that it's nasty when it's undercooked.

Preheat oven to 375°F.

When your children aren't looking, make a paste out of six anchovy fillets and six cloves of garlic with a mortar and pestle.

Coat the bottom of a baking dish with a slick of olive oil.

Remove stems and cut eggplants lengthwise into eighths or so (if they're small, just cut them in half).

Score inner flesh with paring knife and place skin-side down in pan.

Use your hands to smear eggplant with the anchovy/garlic paste, tucking it deep down into the scored flesh.

Add salt (not too much, anchovies are already very salty) and pepper.

Scatter some unpeeled garlic cloves around the pan.

Add some more olive oil and maybe some sprigs of fresh thyme.

Place in preheated oven.

Keep an eye on it, be patient, it can take almost an hour and a half to cook. I know. Crazy. Trust me.

Cover with tin foil if it starts to get too brown.

It's done when it's sweet, soft, and gooey, without a trace of sponginess left.

Serve right away or reheat later.

Garnish with chopped mint and parsley.

BALSAMIC-GLAZED DELICATA SQUASH

The most exciting thing about delicata and kabocha squash is that you can eat the peel.

Preheat oven to 375°F.

Remove the stems, cut the squash in half, scrape out the seeds and pulp.

Place halves skin-side down in a baking dish and sprinkle insides with salt and pepper.

Coat with generous amounts of olive oil and thick or reduced balsamic vinegar. Do not use thin balsamic because it will soak into the squash, creating a mealy texture and an ugly color.

Toss in some fresh sage and a handful of unpeeled garlic cloves.

Bake in preheated oven until squash is tender and scoopable. Serve right away or reheat later. 

LEMONY ROASTED BRUSSELS SPROUTS, TURNIPS, AND POTATOES WITH HORSERADISH CREME FRAICHE 

Preheat your oven to 425 °F.

Use a large sheet pan or baking dish so that everything has room to get nice and crispy.

Here's what I threw onto my sheet pan: unpeeled garlic cloves, sage, rosemary, thyme, halved Brussels sprouts (funky outer leaves removed), quartered Yukon gold potatoes, peeled and quartered turnips, thinly sliced leeks, and quartered lemons. Make sure potatoes and turnips are cut to about the same size.

Be really generous with the salt, pepper, and olive oil; use your hands to make sure everything is well coated.

Keep checking and tossing the vegetables about so that they cook evenly.

Bake until the leeks caramelize and the vegetables are just cooked through and golden brown.

It's even okay to let things burn a bit. 

Serve with Horseradish Crème Fraîche (freshly grated horseradish and chopped parsley mixed into crème fraîche). 

FOR ME

Sort of embarrassing, but I'm on batch number three of crème fraiche for the week. Please let me know if you've made any and if so, what you've learned, what questions you have, and what you've done with it.

I keep trying to get close to my computer but I have creatures keeping me away. I picked my son up early from school today with a case of the I-want-to-hang-out-with-mama-now virus (he is currently asleep under my desk wrapped around my feet), My dog won't stop barking (despite all of the anti-anxiety medication). And my magnificent daughter wanted to chill out with me all evening (oh my god it has been a long time) and chat and cook and play cards and talk about life. So that's what we did.

For the moment, everyone is asleep so here's recipe number one. We'll see how the rest of the crème fraiche week unfolds. Six more recipes to go.

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CREME FRAICHE RECIPE #1

Dashi. Bella. I need to know that you're not going to kill each other while I take a shower. I just need five minutes. Do you think you can handle that?

We promise, mama.

Yes, we promise.

I step into the shower, wash my hair, and think about nothing. I even condition my hair. Fucking heaven.

And then I hear a crash, a scream, a slamming door, another scream, some pounding on a door, and hysterical sobbing. And as much as I'd like to be that mom who says they'll work it out and no one is going to die and everything will be fine, I'm just not that kind of mom. It pisses me off. And my shower is ruined.

I'm a dripping wet insanely mad mama as I burst out of the bathroom and start are you freaking kidding me yelling.

Dash. Bella. Sit down and listen. Here's the deal.  I want to shave my legs. I want to use that pumice stone thingy on  my feet. And then I want to eat pasta with corn and mushrooms for dinner. With lots of creme fraiche. And I don't want ANY complaints.

But mama, I hate corn more than anything.

I know, Dash.

This sucks big time. I hate mushrooms.

I know, Bella. Hey. You just said sucks. I've never heard you say that before. Just don't use that word at school because you might get in trouble. I think you can start saying it in front of your teachers when you're thirteen. Does that sounds reasonable?

And then I laugh at how parenting can feel so random and like amateur hour. And my kids laugh because I'm naked and they can't take me seriously.

I get back in the shower and we try again.

And then we eat the tastiest pasta with gobs and gobs of creme fraiche and watch "The Empire Strikes Back" and talk about droids and light savers and the beauty of Han Solo and whether or not Luke is going to go over to the Dark Side and the kickassedness of Princess Leia. Because that's what I want.

PASTA WTIH CORN, MUSHROOMS, CRISPY SHALLOTS, AND CREME FRAICHE
printable recipe

If you're making creme fraiche, give yourself at least a day, preferably two.
serves 3-4

1 tablespoon butter

1 tablespoon olive oil

4 shallots, peeled and thinly sliced

salt

1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
salt for pasta water

2 cloves garlic

1 anchovy (packed in salt or oil but for this dish I love the salty ones)

3 ears corn, shucked and cut off the cob

2 cups mushrooms (use any kind,  but I've been loving the combination of shiitake and hen of the woods ), wiped clean with a wet paper towel and sliced thinly
1 pound pasta

1/3 cup chopped parsley
parmesan cheese

1 cup creme fraiche
coarse salt

Crank a pan to high heat. Add butter and olive oil. Once it's smoking hot, toss in the shallots. Stir for a few minutes until they've softened and browned a bit. Add big pinch of salt and balsamic. Turn heat to low and leave for about 20 minutes. Stir occasionally. 

Boil a big pot of water for pasta. Add a handful of salt.

Bash garlic and anchovy with a mortar and pestle or chop finely. Once shallots are melt-in-your-mouth tasty crispy, add garlic/anchovy puree. Stir and integrate for a minute. Turn the heat back up and add the mushrooms. Toss for two minutes over high heat. They will start to release some water. Add corn. Turn to low.

Place pasta in boiling water. Once the pasta is al dente, reserve a mug of pasta water. Strain pasta and add it and a bit of pasta water to the mushroom and corn mixture. Toss. Reduce the sauce down a bit. Add chopped parsley and about 1/2 of the creme fraiche and stir. Taste. Add salt as needed.

Slide into a bowl. Top with paper-thin wisps of parmesan and more creme fraiche. Maybe add more parsley and some coarse salt. Eat right away.

IF YOU'RE IN THE MOOD

This weekend, buy some buttermilk and some heavy cream. Find a large glass jar. Fill it halfway up with heavy cream. Add half again as much buttermilk. Stir. (Recipe note: 2 parts heavy cream to 1 part buttermilk. There was some confusion.)

Let it fester at room temperature. All weekend. Without a lid. Leave it in your windowsill or next to your stove or on your kitchen table. If there are any kids around, give them the job of stirring it a few times a day. And tasting it.

It will thicken. It will start to make your mouth pucker. Take it further than you think you should (in hot and humid weather, the souring process can happen very quickly so be vigilant). When you're pleased with the flavor, cover and store it in the fridge.

I'll be back next week with a few things to do with your crème fraiche. But you need to make some first. And it takes a few days.

(A few of my crème fraiche Instagram photos so you can see what's coming...)